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Your body is not yours alone to do with as you like or feel, and if you are using it in a way they do not approve, I believe you are breaking the spirit of this verse.

In part, this question is coming from women who’ve recently read Pulling Back The Shades, a candid look at erotica, intimacy, and the longings of a woman’s heart, which I co-authored with Dr Juli Slattery.

They are taking what they want where they can get it instead of where God designed your sexual energy to be focused at (a man’s wife).

1 Timothy -19 – Timothy, my son, I am giving you this command in keeping with the prophecies once made about you, so that by recalling them you may fight the battle well, holding on to faith and a good conscience, which some have rejected and so have suffered shipwreck with regard to the faith.1 Thessalonians 4:3-5 – It is God’s will that you should be sanctified: that you should avoid sexual immorality; that each of you should learn to control your own body in a way that is holy and honorable, not in passionate lust like the pagans, who do not know God; And a call to control yourself, to not be overtaken by passionate lusts.

There were times I could not perform sexually because I had already masturbated too many times that day.

There were times I avoided sexual encounters because I was worried my wife would realized I was being sexually active without her.

That means when you are unmarried, you don’t expend sexual energy.

Otherwise, by doing so, you are cheating on your future spouse. When you are married, focus all your energy on your spouse. So, if one is married and masturbating alone, focusing his sexual energy on something other than his spouse (porn or an idealistic version of his wife, or just focusing on his own pleasure), then I’m going to call that adultery, and the Bible is very clear on that.

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The marriage bed should be honored by “all,” not just those who have one. I realize you have sexual needs that are not being met, but would it surprise you that I’ve been through periods of that very frustration as a married woman?

But the truth is the question has been coming my way for a long time and I’ve managed to dodge it. ” It seems to me that the question is loaded with that angsty appeal we learned when we were children and mom said it was time for bed, “Ah, mom!

My motivation to answer is impaled on the horns of a dilemma: do I, a married woman, pass you on to some one else with more “experience” for the answer OR do I tell you the truth which is undoubtedly not what you really want to hear in which case you may happily use my married status to disqualify the advice? One more book…one more page…one more sentence.” It is human nature to plead for what we have been told cannot—at this certain point in time—be ours. Can I look at ______…touch _______…just maybe I could ______….” It seems to me the question is wrought with you begging permission from me to wiggle past God’s truth about the sacred act of sex being confined to the marriage bed.

While in the marriage bed poll, over half the men said they were having sex with their spouse once a week or less.

Who wants to bet that a large overlap of these are the people who are having sex with themselves as often or more than with their spouse?




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